"There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in". - Leonard Cohen

You are not alone.

No matter where you are in life, no matter what you do, you are never alone. Having a mental illness, battling depression + anxiety doesn't make you any less of a person. We are all fighting our own battles that people don't know about, all we can do is be kind to everyone and be there to support them and make sure they know that they are NEVER ALONE.

I started taking these self portraits to help with my depression + anxiety and to help prevent self harming which ended up being a fail. I've always had anxiety since college and have been on medication for it since then to help. I opened up about my depression in June of 2019 and finally got on medication when I admitted to myself, my close ones and my doctor that I wanted to drive off the road for 2 weeks straight to commit suicide. That's how bad my depression was last year, since then it only spiraled down worse and I'm ashamed of it. I'm better then this, I'm stronger then this, I AM WORTH IT!! Since then I wanted to self harm a handful of times, I called the suicide hotline for the first time last fall and I broke down crying on the phone with them. It was hard, it was REALLY hard to be on the phone with them knowing how low I was. Fast forward to March of 2020 when COVID hit and was extremely stressful on my job at the nursing home and stressful on relationships and my marriage. The first set of my self portraits I took earlier this year, and the most recent ones were a couple weeks ago when I wanted to self harm. I first self harmed in July, then again a month later. I see my scars now and it makes me sad, mad and hurtful that I did this to myself. I'm better then this but I let my inner demons get the best of me and they won those two times. The time is NOW for me to stand up for me, my depression + anxiety and fight this battle and WIN! I am stronger then this, I am WORTH IT, I am better then this. One day at a time starts now and I can do this with the support of God, my close ones and friends and family. Thank you for never giving up on me.

I am divorced, I am slightly broken, but I am still here standing.

“There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.” –John Green

“The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost

“It’s okay to feel unstable. It’s okay to disassociate. It’s okay to hide from the world. It’s okay to need help. It’s okay not to be okay. Your mental illness is not a personal failure.”

“Nobody can save you but yourself, and you’re worth saving. It’s a war not easily won, but if anything is worth winning then this is it.” Charles Bukowski

“I love the person I’ve become, because I fought to become her.” –Kaci Diane

“Don’t be ashamed of your story. It will inspire others.” –Unknown